#12. New Year’s Service

It’s that time of the year again. The time of the year that Cristianos love to be at church.

New Year’s.

We love being at church on New Years more than we love being at church during any other holiday. We could sacrifice going to church on Easter, Christmas, and even Thanksgiving, but no way on earth can we sacrifice being there when the clock strikes midnight on New Year’s. Missing the clock striking midnight on New Year’s is like missing the Second Coming of Jesus Christ (because every Cristiano has that immense fear that Jesus will come on midnight of any given New Year). The New Years service is one of the most memorable times for Cristianos.

With that in mind, here are 5 things to remember about the Cristianos New Year’s service.

1. There will be about 512 testimonios during the night. Anyone who has never had a chance to say something or sing a song all year long will have a chance tonight. In fact, the midnight countdown will probably be pushed back to 2 AM due to Hermana Rosita’s testimonio and prophetic message for 2011.
2. You will see people you haven’t seen all year. These people are possibly scared that Jesus will come back on New Year’s and they just want to make sure they’re in church when that happens.
3. There will be some sort of sermon on how the year 2011 is Biblical significant. The number 11 is the number of disciples left after Judas betrayed Jesus. They were the faithful ones. This is the year to be faithful…(or something like that). Or they can talk about Jehoiakim reigning 11 years or how the 11 sons of Jacob came to bow down to Joseph. I’m sure you can come up with another one.
4. Since the service will be anywhere from 3-5 hours, people will show up late. You know why? Because Cristianos always show up late. What makes you think Cristianos won’t show up late on the last day of the year? If they showed up late 364 other days of the year, why on earth would they be on time on the 365th? As long as people are there by midnight and are able to get some free buñuelos, then all is forgiven.
5. And while we’re on that subject of food, sometime before, during, or after, there will be a potluck featuring the few basic food groups: Menudo or Pozole, Pan Dulce, Abuelita Chocolate, Buñuelos, Tamales, and possibly even Champurrado. What better way to bring in the New Year than to eat the most fattiest foods late at night?

So there it goes. The ingredients to a Cristianos New Year’s service. In all of my years of life, I have never missed a single New Year’s service. It’s pecado if we do, because Jesus might just come back at midnight.