Stuff Cristianos Like

So service is over and all of a sudden you get a craving for some food….what do you do?

Well, if you’re a Cristiano, you already have a solution for that.

It is a well-known fact that Cristianos have been able to solve this hunger problem by coming up a with a solution otherwise known as the Actividad. It is the selling of food, snacks, and drinks after every possible service. We will sell everything from tacos to chicharrones to paletas or every church’s favorite, nachos.

If you didn’t know it already, Latinos love food. We also love Jesus. So why not combine both? It is the must-have ingredient after every single gathering of Cristianos. Just think of it as communion, because without it, the service is not complete. You didn’t get your blessing if you didn’t buy from the Actividad. Believe it or not, if you say no to Hermana Rosita’s pupusas, you better believe that she’ll be giving you a dirty look each time she sees you.

I often wonder, if the people in the temple would have just given Jesus a taco at the ancient time Actividad, he wouldn’t have been so angry and overturned all the tables in the temple. Don’t you think?

What is the one thing that every church has and every church needs? Hermanos.

They are basically the ones you call on if you ever need help with something. Where Christ is the Cornerstone and the Pastor is the Gatekeeper, they are the pillars of the church that hold it all together.

God has genetically engineered them to help out people with every possible task in life.  If you have problems with your car, you can call on an hermano to help you. If you need some maintenance done at your house, there’s an hermano for that too. If you ever need a ride to the store or someone to just cut your lawn, I’m pretty sure an hermano can do that for you. God created hermanos to help us out in every possible sticky situation in life. Just like there’s an app on the iPhone for just about every task, there’s an hermano for just about everything. Whether you need them to close out the end of the service or to simply lock up the church, they will never complain, because they know that doing the Lord’s work is most important.

I still remember being 16 and being stranded with a flat tire on the side of the freeway. Want to know who came to my rescue that day? An hermano! He knew exactly what to do.

And so when I got my car stuck in the mud a few months back, who did I call on? An hermano! And when that hermano got his truck stuck in the mud trying to help me, who did he call on? Another hermano! It’s a vicious cycle.

(Here’s a tip: If you have no clue what the names of any of the hermanos in your church are, that’s okay. You can just call them hermano. They’ll respond automatically and they’ll have no idea you don’t know even their name. It works for me every time.)

Thank God for hermanos. They are there to do the dirty jobs no one else wants to do and are probably the most under-appreciated people in the church. So this tribute is to all the hermanos out there! Thank God for you guys. Have a great day.

(And for all those hermanas out there who are wondering where there post is, just wait. It’ll come soon enough.)

Ever since I can remember, Cristianos have always considered Halloween as the Devil’s Holiday or as the day formally known as his birthday. The candy that is given out comes from Satan’s piñata and the costumes are from the Whore of Babylon’s closet (Rev. 17). It is generally frowned upon by Cristianos all over to even talk about Halloween and any mention of it only results in disciplina. If people from your church were to find out you ate candy associated with Halloween, they might just give you a dirty look, but if you were to dress up and attend a Halloween party, you might as well stop going to church altogether! It’s blasphemy against the Holy Spirit.

If there’s one thing that Cristianos don’t like….it’s Halloween. It is the epitome of all things evil and we as Cristianos always feel like we have to run the opposite direction because it represents all things pagan. We close our doors to innocent children who don’t know any better and we show them the bitter side of Cristianismo.

But I have a question. Why do we give this day over to Satan and constantly close our doors to people on this day? I remember growing up my mom used to turn off all the lights on Halloween and we had to pretend we weren’t home so that we wouldn’t have to help kids fall into sin. (Don’t act like your mom didn’t do the same!) We even went a couple of years with a large sign on the front door saying we didn’t celebrate the Devil’s foolishness. But thankfully, all that changed several years ago. At the urging of our pastor, we began to open our doors to kids in our neighborhood, giving them candy, a kid-friendly tract, a smile, and a reminder that real Christians still live in their neighborhood. Some years, our house has actually been the most popular one to go to because they see that there’s something different about us. (And it’s probably not the Snickers.)

I’m not saying it’s okay to dress up and decorate your house or anything like that. I’m definitely not saying that at all. Don’t misinterpret. I’m just stating that whatever ideology you currently have about this day, don’t let it keep you from being the loving person God wants you to be. Because, just in case you forgotten, this holiday was actually a Christian holiday to begin with. It’s the culture who has changed the meaning behind it. Let’s not let this day not be the Devil’s holiday anymore, but let’s let God be glorified in everything we do on this day.

So I wish every Cristiano out there a Happy Halloween, because believe it or not, God can still use this day to transform lives.